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Nov 14th 1:51 AM- Some New Pics Drunk? Yes...Angry, you bet. A sad day is upon us when the fear of administrative crackdowns and overaggressive cops force party throwers everywhere to be paranoid to a fault. I know, I've been that guy. We were at a party last night, filming a some stuff, things started going sidewise fast. I was walking though a small crowd when some random chick in a cowboy hat started grinding my leg like there was no tomorrow (sorry honey not my fault), I was dealing with that when I was confronted by an angry short man who demanded I shut of my camera, he was rude and very short. I told him that it was fine and I stopped my taping to find out what the problem was. He then demanded, on the authority of going to college for 8 years, that I give him my camera and tape. Though 8 years of college is very impressive, I had to decline his generous offer to take my brand new camera from me. So I told him I knew a few people at the party who had seen me with the camera and didn't have a problem with it so maybe he should just calm down. He asked who, so I gave him the name of one of my friends and he exclaimed "I know exactly where he is!" and ran off to tattle on me.

Anyway my friend of 4 years came downstairs and explained why Mr. Short was getting all upset. Apparently some dumb freshman slut had taped a party towards the end of last year, and got caught being shitfaced and underage. In some worthless attempt to pass blame, that the cops probably tricked her into, she produced the tape of the party she go drunk at. Trouble followed. After having a clear explanation presented to me in a reasonable fashion, I agreed that further taping would be unfair to the party throwers. It was settled as far as I was concerned.

BUT NOOOOOO.... While I was talking to my buddy about how shitty that situation was and what a nice beer vest he had on, the short guy had been working himself into a frenzy about the incriminating tape I now had in my possession. He had gathered some supporters who were now yelling for blood (or at least broken plastic). I explained that the tape cost $7 dollars and I had some other stuff on it that I wanted, so there was no way I was giving him the tape. He offered me $20 bucks for it and I almost took it, but the principle folks, it was my tape and I had given my word the party segment would never see the light of day or it would be erased all together. I went to talk to my friend and a few other people in the boiler room about the situation. Long story short I switched the tape out and gave them a blank to destroy for $10. IN YOUR FACE SHORT OBNOXIOUS DUDE! and out of respect for my friends at the party, my tape will never see the light of day. So you see all they had to do was ask because I have respect for people like them.

Nov 13th 1:11 PM - Scanned some old news if you want to see what the Maine Campus wrote about us, the channel 2 news story is giving us trouble as we try to digitize it. Some Umaine Alums go to Germany and pick up some hot German beer wenches. Man last night was rough.

Nov 12th 1:08 PM - A Train derailed in VA Spilling 20,000 gallons of beer near an industrial park! Too bad it didn't happen near a college campus! Link Here

Nov 11th 10:37 PM- We'll have some new Halloween pics up soon in out pictures section, just as soon as our lazy asses can edit them down to size. In the mean time we have Tara Reid Nipple Slip at P-Diddy Party also, did anyone see the HUGE ass police beat today? The best one was the kids heckling the officer from the tree!

Nov 4th 4:00 PM- The way police beat is written, from the side of the police, since it is based on their reports, is funny as hell to read. Take some examples from this Thursday's Maine Campus.

"Shoddy concealment job gets underage man summons in York
A man was issued a summons following a situation in the basement of York Hall at about 1:30 a.m. Sunday, Oct 31. An officer on foot patrol in the hall noticed two people leaving the building. One male subject, later identified as Coleman Nelson, 19, of Jefferson, was holding his arm in such a way that the officer thought he was injured. Give us a break here, does anyone really think that the cop thought the man was injured hahaha, he just wanted to see what he was hiding. Now I'm no expert, but I'm damn positive your allowed to look like you hiding something. The officer asked the man if he was OK but the man ignored him. The other person told the officer that the man was fine. Based on the actions of the two, the officer decided to investigate. Yeah you better investigate since college kids are considered armed and dangerous criminals on this campus Upon closer inspection, Nelson appeared to be holding something under his jacket. He told the officer that it was a 2-liter bottle of soda. When asked to show it, Nelson produced a 1-liter bottle of vodka. He should not have shown it, he didn't have to, folks if cops ask you do do something, don't do it! They will act like your buddy until you admit what you did and bend you over! As a result, he was issued a summons for illegal possession of alcohol by a minor." So as you can see there is a lot of bullshit going on on the part of the cops he had no probable cause so he just made one up. If students knew their rights shit like this wouldn't happen.

Nov 4th 1:16 pm- Bush Wins, and no one at UMaine will ever hear the end of it. If I hear one more person say they are embarrassed to be an American I'm going to throw a beer can at their head (a full one). That is the stupidest thing anyone can say! Regardless of who wins the election, at least we have elections! How about the pressure that you have to vote?! I voted early but that didn't stop people from all kinds of student organizations from trying to get me to do it again! I even told one fellow that I already voted and he said "Yeah Right.." man did that piss me off!!! It was mostly Kerry people trying to get a higher turnout of students who they thought would all vote for him. I personally don't think that was needed since Maine always goes democrat regardless. Anyway, I don't know about you but I'm just GLAD THE ELECTION IS OVER! and we can get back to important things like waking up face down on the floor!

They all like to drink, who would you rather find passed out in the back seat of your car?

Nov -1st Hope everyone had a Drunk Ass Halloween! I watched way too many people almost not make it though this one!

September 15th 10:30 PM Yuck, who invited this hideous personage to our construction filled campus. "Maine native LaMarche fails to draw a crowd during Wednesday speech"(MC) WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?! To take a turn of phrase from her lovely speech " I would rather listen to at a toaster than anymore raving, conspiracy theory, lunacy from the green party." She is a nut ball bent on hating Bush and offering no alternatives, the green party is supposed to be against democrats too but I guess its easier to just hate on Bush than come up with a real platform to run on or any insightful ideas for change. Hatemongering seems to be the way to go. Well then LaMarche I thinks is clear that people like Bush better than you so perhaps its time you give up and run a toaster as the green party VP candidate, and start Disk Jockeying again.

September 9th 7:30 PM-See you all at the Bear Brew tonight at 9:00 pm It is confirmed that the drinks are 10 cents a pop for well drinks, well shots and many of the beers.

August 27 10:33 PM - Welcome Back for Fall 2004! The next week is going to be tough on all of us. You, the students, must go and get plastered with friends new and old. We, on the other hand must slave away to get this site up and running for the new school year, get t-shirts printed, and figure out what to do with a TV spot that has been offered us on the campus channel. Please check back often as we hope to get everything going smoothly in no time. Submit@umainedrunks.com

News- May somthingith - Hey all you UMaine Drunks fans now that Finals are finally over we have time to put up a few new things for you. How about Bumstock? Yeah it sucked as per usual and even though I personally like Eve 6, I don’t think they gave that great a performance. I hope you didn’t read the latest letters to the editor in the Maine Crapus. It is just more PC bullshit from the brainwashed portion of the UMaine community. Students ranting and raving about how we’ve offended Transgender individuals or Spanish people or any other group you can put a name on. Fuck them; we here at UMaine Drunks are sick of Liberal though police telling us what we are allowed to think, not that the Republican vice squad is any better but they aren’t bothering me right now. You’re not evil for judging someone, its part of life, get over it.

In other news, the Bar Crawl was a big success with much fun to be had by all. Some photos can be found in the appropriate section. Chicken Fest was chickeny but not quite as crazy as in years past, and the secret ultra cool party was the best ever as it always is. Hope that this year went well for all you drunks out there and yes this site will be up over the summer and next year. Oh and another article by the same author as the state of Maine can be read here. Its on the Fuel concert and what the university did to mess it up. Ah and we have some new pictures too, keep sending them to submit@umainedrunks.com Oh and a new video of what not to look like after drinking all night.

NEWS- April 21st- Bumstock is coming up. So this should be a good weekend to go out and get shitty! I recommend the Bumstock Pub Crawl With Cory and crazy t-shirts which only fat sizes are left of. In Other news Bumstock will not have a beer tent or even let you bring a "water bottle" so make sure to get totally shitty right before the show. I recommend chugging about two 8 oz cups of vodka and then getting there as fast as you can so you can still pass for sober at the security check point. Then while your their it will seep into your system and you'll be drunk the whole time! FOR PUB CRAWL INFO CLICK HERE HAVE a drunk time, we're off to get started!

NEWS- April 12th- Well I hope everyone had a happy and drunk Easter. Its now 2:10 am on Monday morning and I just had Three random drunk as shit dudes bust into our apartment and I was the only one up to see this shit hahahahaha. They accused me of being a hockey player and not telling them where the party was at so I told them I was going to take their picture and they insisted that I join them, so I did. It is a crappy picture but proof that French Island is a fucked up place to Live! Three Random Drunk Dudes....UMaine Drunks Salutes you! Oh and there is going to be a Bumstock Bar Crawl. More info to come on that.

NEWS-April 6th- I can't believe they are having another one of those creation theory guys on campus again. Oh well. If you believe in creationism please leave now. I may be a drunk but even I know better. "But how could the eye have evolved huh? huh?" Just read this, SHUT UP! AND HELP THE HUMAN RACE OUT BY GOING DIRECTLY TO WHAT EVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN! Its been a long day, I need a drink......

NEWS-April 5th - More videos as you can see:-) The State of UMaine Commentary by a brave soul by the name of Robert Collins. If you like it make sure to check back as he may very well get his own column. I really recommend reading it, as it brings to light many of the problems that face the students of this once great university. Adding an e-mail section soon so keep 'em coming! submit@umainedrunks.com

NEWS-April 2nd - Put up new pictures, ladies drink section, and Found out Hoff is getting fired (or let go as they say) at the end of this year. Not leaving to get a better job. Drink to snow days next year!

NEWS-March 28th- It's been an interesting weekend..... put up two new videos. B-Ryce makes no sense once again. New pictures tonight as well! Check back if you like.

NEWS-March 25th- Well The Scanner was taken off line because someone decided to mess with Sean's computer through it, Hopefully that will get worked out soon. We did get a copy of the tape of the news story :) and will try to get it up here. Lots of pictures to put up as well don't forget to bookmark and check back soon. Oh and Check out this slideshow, funny, but loses steam towards the end.

NEWS- March 24th-

We do a lot of things on this website for entertainment only. But here is something you can really use. A web based scanner for the UM "Public Safety", UM security, the Orono PD, and the Oldtown Cops. Now you know when they are coming to break up your party or bust you in your room for drinking. CLICK HERE to get to the Online Scanner! You need Winamp for the stream. Just have this going on your computer while you party and it could save your ass. Thanks to Sean for setting it all up ! Don't Forget to E-mail us at submit@umainedrunks.com

NEWS- March 23rd- OK Well, finally back from spring break, accidentally took an extra week off after getting back but now its time to update. Just found out that UMAINEDRUNKS.COM was featured in a news segment on WLBZ; channel 3 for you Adelphia users and channel 2 for broadcast people. I didn't see it but I got a few e-mails telling me that they shit all over the website for promoting underage drinking. AWESOME! One of my roommates was here when they came by around noon while I was at class. He caught them snooping around looking for me and they said that they wanted the other side of the story. I guess they didn't care too much because they ran it anyway with just the Dean of UM. I am going to see if its on again at 11:00 so if anyone catches it we'll give you a prize for a copy.

NEWS- Feb 25th- At 0742 hrs. a University employee reported a tent in the woods off the back side of the Farm Rd. A Police Officer responded and found 3 people, 2 males and 1 female, all resident students, in the tent. The Officer advised them that camping was not allowed on University property. They packed up the tent and returned to their dorm. *** A perfectly good camping trip ruined- who are these people haha... I was hoping for 2 females and 1 male though. Well as long as they high fived' during it I guess its ok.

NEWS- Feb 24th- Finally got around to the update due to ever increasing "requests" eh hem.. for updates. We've got some great new pictures for you as well as a sorted tale of a UMaine cop gone bad at the Riverfront in Old Town. Read that story here!, a new drink, and the winner of the PICTURE CONTEST! Also Umaine drunks is going Caribbean Style and will return from a 7 day cruise with pictures you can't handle and stories...... well stories of some kind anyway. Also a new slideshow is available on the dropout page. If you don't like it don't look at it!

News!- Feb 2nd MASSIVE UPDATE AND SERVER SWITCH ON THIS COMING SATURDAY, to everyone who submitted content thanks we are about to put it up! Check back with us in 4 days! Remember only 13 days left in the picture contest and you know you want to spend that $20 on good wholesome fun!

News!- Jan 28th Thriftway laundry mat was just on fire so don't go do your clothes there today! Didn't get the update done, a few more bugs to work out.

NEWS!- Jan 27th Will Update tonight at 12:00 am, move to new server almost done.

NEWS!- Jan 25th 9:00 pm On the Advice of everyone but Nick we have removed the offensive slide show because it was too offensive and people started crying about it like little bitches.

NEWS!- Jan 25th 4:00 pm Most offensive slide show ever...Done by our resident drop out! Guaranteed to upset your delicate sensibilities! Click HERE!

NEWS! - Jan 23rd Drunken elephants die in accident!!! YES! Four wild elephants drunk on rice beer

have been electrocuted in the north-east Indian state of Meghalaya, wildlife officials report. THIS IS AWESOME! Read it here. They attack villages to drink their beer! Umaine drunks on site reporter Subir Bhaumik says "This is very very bad! now what do I drink?

News!- Jan 21st That Crazy B-ryce is at it again this week and this time reading it cost me more brain cells than my last blackout. Ouch.

News!- Jan 19th - Well we got a write-up in the Maine campus. It got most things right (Thumbs up guys!) except I was born in Boston and have lived a hell of a lot closer to "civilization" than the article claims in this quote, "If your trying to figure out who these people are, hint: they're from a small Maine town and this is their first time in civilization" Which is true about exactly zero of our editors. Oh and this is civilization? haha.... where have you been? Ah yes, and just about 99% of our joke list deals exclusively with things you only get at Umaine. Eh...you know you loved it so you had to make some stuff up to balance the article.. That's ok, We do that all the time at here at UmaineDrunks! Your only source for un-fair and biased news! Click here to read it!

NEWS YOU CAN'T USE - Jan 18th I am way to hung over to be doing any updates today. I did get a friendly letter from the office of substance abuse and Greek life. Read it here if you like.

NEWS! - Jan 16th -More Unjustified crackdowns on a frat house. According to the Maine Campus Judicial Affairs has called Phi Eta Kappa a "rogue" fraternity. What are they a terrorist Cell?!?! We encourage you to read the full article here.

NEWS! - Jan 14th- Recent rise in Drunk Driving caused by University Administration! OUI article

NEWS!- Jan 14th- Holy Shit its cold out today! Read this You Might go to UMaine if..... Yeah my lungs froze on the way to class today, thanks Hoff!

NEWS!- Dec 14th Saddam was found in a dirt hole, he was obviously drunk! You go SADDAM its pretty bad ass to get drunk when on the run from the US.

"Major-General Ray Odierno told a news conference in Tikrit that Saddam, 66, who had

been on the run since he was toppled in April, was "very disorientated" when he was found by troops during a raid at a farm at Ad-Dawr late Saturday. "

Just look at the guy, he has been on an 8 month bender lamenting the loss of his palaces and bitches!

NEWS!- Dec 13th Exposure to the Sun has been determined to cause cancer in humans, therefore several health organizations have decided that it is in our best interest to blot it out. They are working on constructing a giant sunblockerouter thing. In the mean time, anyone caught exposing themselves to the sun will be fined 125 dollars and thrown in jail until their parents can come pick them up.

NEWS!- Dec 7th Cab company guy in a van tried to rip us off last night... He thought we were so drunk that he could not reset the meter after he got paid by the first group that left and tried to charge us for their trip and ours! I caught him though and he acted all indignit and tried to say that he was doing some kind of complex subtraction that would save us money hahahaha!

NEWS!- Site under construction, should be finished by next semester, please send pics, stories, suggestions, and videos to submit@umainedrunks.com! Thanks -The Drunk

NEWS!- On Nov. 11th I lit my face on fire with a flaming shot. It hurt, but I'm ok. This is what they looked like the next day with Neosporin all over em, yummy.....

We have the Maine Campus, and First Class, but where do you get all the drinking stories (No the Police Beat doesn't count) and "interesting" pics from last weeks parties? Unless your one of those lucky few who can attend every drinking event on and off campus every night of the week then UmaineDrunks is the place to be. Sick of seeing kids sitting around the dorms playing video games and watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy when they should be getting shitfaced? SO ARE WE!

This school has come down quite a bit from its hay days when it actually ranked as a party school. Public Safety has become a training camp for fascists, not even those of us of legal age can drink without fear of prosecution. The daily patrols of the dorms have become hourly and a few kids doing what college kids do and hurting no one are busted every night of the week. Frats are getting shut down by tattletales and cops with no real crime to fight, and its only getting worse my friends. House parties seem to be the only safe place but even those are getting busted by neighbors who move here for the college atmosphere but suffer from "not in my backyard" syndrome.

We can't blame it all on the Man though, the students here have to stand up and do something on Friday night. Make the effort to have a few drinks and meet a few people. Getting drunk is one of the best ways to meet people, and if your all shut up in your room downloading another episode of the family guy or some strange Japanimation cartoon, STOP! Have a few shots, chase it with a beer and then maybe you'll go knock on a few random doors and get those shut-ins out too. Get together, drink in your room, then go find a party, drink more there, meet people. Take some risks, eat free hotdogs after 3am at the gas station, flash someone, pick a fight, run from the cops, piss on a tree, have unprotected sex, have good stories to tell your kids about college!..... They are not going to want to hear how many Gigs of porn you had on your hard drive!... Besides then you can put something cool in your away message instead of your usual crap.

This site is dedicated to the bored students of Umaine who desperately seek drunken shenanigans. Click on the Drink Me Icon for info on submitting pictures, videos and stories to the site. We need your help to make this a fun and ever changing site for you to visit!